Should I stay or should I go? Should I take this job? Should I quit my job? Should I use this marketing idea or that business strategy?
If you’ve found yourself asking a ‘should’ question, you’re probably facing a big decision, pursuing a dream that fills your heart with passion, and striving to live a meaningful life.
If you’re like most people, you can get so overwhelmed that you kind of wish you didn’t even have the opportunity to make the decision or that someone would just tell you what to do.
However, this is YOUR life. Letting someone else decide for you takes away all your power. Besides, the problem isn’t the decision. The problem is the question you’re asking.
‘Should’ will lead to a very black and white answer of yes or no. And while it might initially seem like a yes or no answer is helpful, in the long run, it’s not.
Here’s why asking a ‘should’ question doesn’t help you.
‘Should’ implies that one choice will be filled with misery and regret while the other will be everything you ever wanted.
Think back on your life:
- Short of life and death situations, how many times have you made a choice that turned out completely positive or completely negative?
- How many times has a challenging experience given you tools to do something or introduced you to something (or someone) that you absolutely love now?
- How many times have you completely adored something that you eventually grew away from because of maturity or other priorities in life?
- Being on the other side of multiple decisions in your life, how many of them can you say that you shouldn’t have made because you learned or gained nothing from them?
There’s too much ambiguity with ‘should’ questions. They leave no room for growth, self-empowerment, and the sheer joy of getting the most out of each moment instead of banking all your happiness on a future ‘unknown.’
What to ask instead of ‘should’ questions.
- Is this what I want to do? What steps can I take to move me closer to doing it? What do I hope to experience or achieve from this? Based on what I want, is this a good fit for me?
- Am I ready for this? What can I do to prepare myself better, or am I ready enough to do it anyway and accept that I’ll learn along the way?
- Why am I afraid of making this decision? Is it a life-threatening fear or is it a limiting fear that I need to address or rewrite?
Change your questions, answer honestly, take action, and live life with meaning.
As always, I am available if you have any questions – for counseling, mindful change sessions, or coaching. Please let me know if you would like to talk with me. You can contact me HERE