Have you ever felt that no one gives a damn about you?
For some people, it starts during childhood. For others, it’s a more recent development. Maybe there’s been a string of bad things happening, or maybe you take care of other people who aren’t there for you when you need them.
Regardless of the source, feeling that way sucks. It also means that you’re running some version of a drama program in your life.
Lots of people run drama programs, but hardly anyone wants to admit to it. However, the reason it’s such a popular program is that it produces results.
Why?
Creating drama gives you interactions with other people. It helps them notice you. And even if the attention you get from it isn’t positive, it makes you feel like someone gives a damn about you.
Telling your story of drama is how you reassure yourself that you matter in the world and are worth someone else noticing.
The Problem
Drama may draw people in, but at the same time, it’s not pleasant. The more problems people have and the more they focus on them, the harder it is to have the energy and emotional capacity left to care for others deeply.
So, if you’re using drama to deal with loneliness or a sense of no one caring, you can draw people in but then lack the energy to connect in a way that forms meaningful long-term relationships.
The Solution
To get started, take a few moments and come up with a list of positive things about yourself. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of love, attention, and a great life. Picture yourself successfully resolving problems on your own.
Then, stop telling drama filled stories to yourself and others. If you want to talk about your problem, think to yourself, “Nope. What am I going to do about my problem?”
You are worthy of love and attention, and you don’t have to prove it to anyone or demand it via drama.
As the drama fades and you learn to trust that you’re enough and worthy, your relationships will improve, and you’ll have a lot more time for fun and growth. You’ll go from feeling like no one gives a damn to feeling cared for and loved.
Some Helpful Options
- There are many articles on this blog with free tips and information to help you create a meaningful and rewarding life.
- If you prefer a more concentrated self-help version, check out my book: Same Shit Different Day
- If you’d like some one-on-one help, click here: Discovery Session