Have you ever noticed how some people seem to have a continuous stream of drama happening in their lives?
You know the ones … they lose their keys on a regular basis.
They can’t get their computer to work.
They always seem to be seated at a table with people they cannot stand and, because of this, they seem to always have a miserable time.
They drop things…
They forget things they need…
They spill their drink…
They forget their credit card at home…
The meal they ordered is terrible…
And if someone is going to have a bad time, it will be them!
It’s been a long while since I spent a lot of time among strangers. Most of my life is spent among those I know well – people who have been working on their mindset and learning to master their reality and their mental focus.
Having the opportunity to observe and listen to any number of ‘untrained’ people this week was eye-opening in a way I hadn’t expected because I saw a lot of the above in action!
It’s called a victim script – most of us have or have had one. In some it is quite dominant and in others it is less obvious. It’s a program in your mind formed when you were young that comes from feeling helpless, powerless, and vulnerable in a world you saw as so much bigger than you. It contains beliefs about not being good enough or worthy enough. Sometimes it even contains beliefs about not being lovable. And it probably contains an expectation that this struggle is quite simply the way it is!
It is a silent saboteur that hijacks your success personally and professionally and it is completely unnecessary.
This week on board ship I witnessed this pattern in any number of people. Some of them were completely unconscious of what was happening while others very conscious of it but felt powerless to change it.
I used to be one of those people. Drama seemed natural, I was at the centre of it, and it seemed somehow ok because it happened to everyone. My heart reaches out to them because I know it can be so much different. Like any program it can be uncovered and re-written. People don’t have to live this way – it IS solvable and I see this change in action all the time with my clients.
How about you – do you know people who fit this mold? Have you ever fit this mold? If you’ve managed to change it, how did you do it? Please share, I’d love to hear from you!