Things are good in my life. I’ve been working with clients and growing my business — both things I absolutely love! Next time I’ll share a story about Karen. Her life was filled with drama from a horrendous childhood…the kind some people never recover from.
But this week, let’s talk about you and when you’re doing everything right without any results to show for it.
When this happens, it’s often a limiting belief you can’t see. And all of us, even those with lots of practice with mindful change, occasionally run up against an invisible wall.
We know it’s there, but every light we’ve shined, every angle we’ve come at it, fails to show us the cause.
I don’t care if you’re the best in the world at spotting limiting beliefs, when it’s YOUR limiting belief, sometimes you’ll miss it.
And the most predictable sign that you’ve missed it is that you’re doing everything right to make a change in your life, and nothing is changing. You’re spinning your wheels and going nowhere fast.
So what do you do?
It comes down to three things:
- A good coach
Look, your limiting beliefs can be tricky. You formed those beliefs for a reason, and when you try to change them, it scares the crap out of your brain. So, when there’s an especially deep-seated limit, sometimes your brain will try to fool you.
For example: Maybe you’ve taken a lot of the suggestions I’ve given you and put them to use. You know what your big dream is, you wrote out what has to happen to make it come to reality, and you found your next step.
But then, without you realizing it, your brain yelled “squirrel!” and you chased it even though it was in a slightly different direction than your next step. So, you think that you’re doing everything right, but you’re not.
That’s where honesty comes in. Look at your plan and make sure that you are DOING your next step.
If your brain had tricked you into busywork instead of your actual next step, find someone to hold you accountable. That way, even if it happens again, you’ll be reporting in frequently enough to catch it and redirect yourself.
But sometimes you really are doing everything and getting nowhere. You honestly look at yourself and what you’re doing, but you can’t figure out what’s stopping you.
When that happens, it’s time to get a coach. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve done on your own, sometimes you simply need a coach. Most successful people have them because coaches make growth happen faster and easier.
I’m a coach for other people, but I have coaches for myself, too. There are things where the time it would take me to learn something new by myself just isn’t worth it when I have quality coaches to call for help.
For instance, when I decided to write a book, I hired a book coach. Why re-invent the wheel?
So, if you’re feeling stuck in life, reach out for help. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 613.601.1083, and we’ll set up a 30-minute discovery session.
Or contact someone else who’s a trusted coach in the area where you need help. But get help. It’s like this week’s quote says:
“If we stay where we are, where we’re stuck, where we’re comfortable and safe, we die there. We become like mushrooms, living in the dark, with poop up to our chins. If you want to know only what you already know, you’re dying. You’re saying: Leave me alone; I don’t mind this little rathole. It’s warm and dry. Really, it’s fine.
When nothing new can get in, that’s death. When oxygen can’t find a way in, you die. But new is scary, and new can be disappointing, and confusing – we had this all figured out, and now we don’t.
New is life.”
Talk to you next week! I think you’ll find Karen’s story fascinating.