How To Forgive

We’ve talked about why forgiveness is powerful last time, and why it isn’t about the other person, but now it’s time to learn how to forgive.

1. Let it out and express yourself

Write a letter to the person who hurt you. They’re never going to see this letter, so let it all out. Say everything you’ve ever wanted to say to them and fully express how you feel about them and what happened.

2. Step back

Now that you’ve expressed your emotions, it’s time to be proactive. Ask yourself:

• What’s the worst thing about what happened?
• Is there anything I can do to change the situation?
• What will holding a grudge accomplish for the other person and me?

3. Look at it from a different perspective

Is it possible that what happened was the result of what was going on in the other person’s head and life? Is it possible you were the victim but not a specific target? Although the experience wasn’t fun, did you get something useful out of it

4. Forgive

It’s time to imagine what your life will look like once you’ve let go and moved forward. What will this new freedom mean for you? How will you feel? Will a weight be lifted from your life? What new opportunities will come your way?

Imagine yourself letting go of the pain, anger, betrayal, and any other intense emotion that doesn’t serve you. Let love and gratitude for all of the positive things in your life pour in and heal you.

Now, take the letter you wrote and either burn it, shred it, or throw it away.

5. Move Forward

When you forgive, you free yourself to live a vibrant life filled with love, peace, and positive meaning.

If the old feelings creep in again, take in a deep breath, and as you breathe out, picture yourself letting go of all the negative emotions. With your next breath in, picture love and peace flooding in and around you. Repeat this process as often as you need.

As always, I am available if you have any questions – for counseling, mindful change sessions, or coaching. Please let me know if you would like to talk with me. You can send me an email HERE or call me at 613.601.1083.