As you head into the New Year, do you think about the balance within yourself and the life you are living?

  • Do you treat your body well? Do you exercise it regularly? Do you care for it in terms of the food you eat and the liquids you drink? Do you get enough sleep?
  • Do you have a life that fills you with JOY?
  • Do you love your work? Do you feel that you are valued? Does what you earn = the value you contribute?
  • Do you have GREAT relationships with the people who matter most to you?
  • Do you feel like your life has purpose?
  • Do you have passion and interest in life?

I’ve done some work recently with a client who has struggled through her entire life to be loved by a man. She would answer YES to all of the above – when she had the attention of a man. And she plummeted into total despair when she didn’t.

Do you know what she discovered? Being loved in life is not about the outside world. It is not the applause of others, or their willingness to hold you in high regard. It’s not about the flowers he brings you for no reason or the birthday cards he sends to you. It’s not about whether your mother loved you and your father was present to you.

What she realized today in a magnificent aha moment is that the one love she could count on was her own. It was demonstrated repeatedly through her life by the many choices she made to keep going, to work hard, and to make her life meaningful and joyful – for herself! Do you do the same?

She made her life a priority. She made it matter. She went to school and built a business for herself. She made her children a very important part of her life. She chose to find solutions to issues that threatened her sense of well-being and she didn’t stop until she found the answers.

She chose to be responsible for her life. She chose to keep focusing on the life she wanted to live and finding the solutions to what wasn’t working. And she didn’t stop till she had achieved what she set out to achieve. Now that is true love!

Don’t wait for someone else to make you a priority, for someone else to show you your worth and value.  Be less concerned with what others might think or how others might judge you and learn to listen to your own inner voice and the wisdom it contains.

You have an innate right to experience each of the statements above. Set your sights high in your life and then work to create that experience. Don’t let anything get in your way. The only one you can truly count on is YOU! And the more you act that way, the more you empower yourself to BE the creator of your life!

In this new year I encourage you to make approval for yourself your priority and to stop worrying about what other people think. Make choices that are right for you and that make you happy – don’t make choices that you think will make other people happy. In my years as a mindful change therapist I have seen over and over again the power and joy it gives people to approach life this way.