As Christmas approaches, feelings of loneliness can become magnified. My heart goes out to those that feel this alone – so I write this for you in the hope that it gives you the mindset tips that will allow you to manage and move past these feelings.
Your mind is at the centre of any feeling, including loneliness, so using your mind properly can help you to move out of it.
1. Understand that loneliness is a feeling. Feelings are not real, they are not who you are, they don’t define you, and they should never run you. They are an echo of the past – the way you felt in the past is being triggered by your current circumstances.
2. Acknowledge that you are greater than your past. Refuse to give in to the feeling. Loneliness is one of those things that can become really large in your life if you focus upon it a lot. So don’t pay it a lot of attention – avoid chatting about it with friends or writing about it in emails or journaling endlessly about your sadness. Stay away from the victim mindset that wants to say ‘woe is me’ because that is like quicksand – the more you talk about it, the more it grabs hold of you.
3. Ask yourself ‘What would I do right now and how would I act if I weren’t feeling this loneliness?’ Put yourself back on track by doing these things instead. If you do this consistently enough you will flip your life to become a reflection of its opposite.
4. Become the biggest, best, brightest version of yourself that you can be. Each one of us has talents, strengths, qualities, and abilities that are to be celebrated. Discover what they are and then strengthen them to the point where you feel really, really good about yourself. Everyone you meet is touched by that energy and responds to it. They will want to hang out with you.
5. Make a difference in life. Use your life to enhance the lives of others. Discover a purpose and then start following it. It is amazing how radiant we become when our heart is fully engaged in our life – and radiant people are very attractive forces in the world.
6. Have a bold and motivating vision for your future. When any feeling arises that threatens to take the shine off your life go back to this vision, see it in your mind, and focus upon it. What you focus upon does become and holding onto your vision will keep you moving forward even if emotions make you feel as if it will never be possible.
7. Be responsible and check in with your own behavior. Do you do anything that contributes to your feelings of loneliness? Below is a list of questions to get you started. If you answer yes to any then create a plan for how you will be different in the future and then DO IT. Commit yourself.
- Do you isolate yourself in any way? If so, how?
- Do you mistrust people? How so?
- Do you stop yourself from participating with others? If so, why?
- How active are you, really, in looking for and forming really healthy, robust connections with people?
I’m here if you struggle with any of this. Barriers and blocks to living a joyful life are mindsets that can be uncovered and transformed. You DESERVE to live joyously. It’s who we were designed to be.