Unless you’re a hermit, you interact with people on a regular basis. They might be kids or adults, but you all have to work together sometimes. And, like it or not, sometimes there are issues.
In business, we call that sort of thing a team issue. In a family we might call it behaviour problems, disagreements, or even dysfunction.
Regardless of the name used for it, at some point in your life you’ve been frustrated with the people you work and interact with. So, let’s talk a little about why it happens and what you can do about it.
I think it’ll be more fun to share a story with you about a fictional person named Rob than spouting ideas.
Rob owns a consulting business and he has three people working with him to provide business consulting services to his clients. Two of his employees are consultants that specialize in different facets of business management and the third is an assistant who works for all of them.
Rob has hired talented people who are very good at what they do — a signal that Rob is likely very good at what he does. But there is conflict between him and the employees.
The consultants, in particular, aren’t at all open to the ideas of others. They are very set in their ways and inflexible in their thinking.
As you can imagine, Rob doesn’t like that. He wants to have input into their work and they don’t allow it.
Now, many leadership coaches might look at Rob’s situation and tell him, “You’ve hired the wrong team – get rid of these consultants and look for others who are better team players.”
However, what I see when I look at the situation is the way Rob’s mind works.
If you dig within his belief systems and thought patterns, you’ll most likely find that he is rigid in his thinking, too. He doesn’t take direction from others well, and he doesn’t respond well to criticism.
In other words, just like his consultants, Rob is very closed to input from other people. He started his own company so that no one would tell him what to do…
From where I sit, Rob’s team reflects his closed-mindedness.
Instead of firing his team or putting them through a team-building workshop designed to bring out their willingness to become more connected and better team players, I’d suggest that Rob look at his own mindset and make some modifications.
Rob needs to address his closed-minded behaviors. If he changes, the chances are high his team will begin to change, too.
We have been taught that what is ‘happening out there’ is separate from us, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. What’s happening out there is a mirror to what is happening in our minds.
Look within and use Mindful Change to resolve your own limitations and mindsets instead of pointing fingers ‘out there’ and expecting things to change.
The more frustrated you are with someone else’s behaviour, the more likely it is that they mirror some internal aspect of you.
I know – that’s more tough love than you maybe wanted to hear today. But that doesn’t make it any less true. And knowing it is the only way you can begin to do something about it.
Let the following knowledge comfort you: working on your own issues causes more than the immediate problem to resolve — it will also prevent future encounters that are basically the same problem with different people.
Realizing that you struggle with something and knowing what to do about it are two different things. So, if you need some help with a basic direction to get you started, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 613.601.1083, and we’ll set up a 30-minute discovery session to help you figure it out.
Regardless of if you own your own business, like Rob, or you work for someone else, do you love your job? If you don’t — if you can’t stand your work but don’t see another alternative — next week I’ll share something you can try.
Life is too short to be unhappy all the time!
And to close us out, let’s take a look at the quote of the week!
“Don’t put the keys to your happiness in somebody else’s pockets;
start opening your own doors.”
Take care, and we’ll talk soon!